Thursday, October 5, 2017

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: The one piece of advice I stopped giving new moms

The question I get the most is "What is it like to be a mom?"  And I usually say something like "it's exhausting, but it's awesome!" which is 100 percent true, but what is that really telling you about motherhood?  I remember being terrified before my daughter was born, in my mind people who became parents had a special set of skills (insert Liam Neeson voice), and at the time my skills included memorizing all the words to "Back that thang up" on the first try.  Clearly I was in trouble, so I sought out advice from every person I could find. Relatives, friends, even strangers became sort of a pseudo parenting council that I could bounce questions off of when needed.

Recently I thought about all the advice that I had received while I was pregnant, (swaddle/ don’t swaddle, don’t co-sleep, put some cereal in that milk) and how much of it was really helpful?  The one piece of advice that came up constantly was to “sleep when the baby sleeps” because new moms need lots of rest.  Hey now, I’m all for it, but do you know how most babies sleep?  They don’t get up at the end of a long day and say “Well I’m beat, think I’m gonna turn in for the night (yawn)” Hell no, they sleep at 11am, 2pm, 7pm, etc etc etc.  If you can keep up with that, then God bless you, but it made me crazy!  I couldn’t get anything done.  So instead of sleeping when the baby slept I used that time to do laundry, cook, clean, basically whatever I wanted to do for my spirit.  And yes I was tired A.F., but I was getting shit done which made me feel good.

So no, I will no longer tell new moms to “sleep when the baby sleeps”; instead I will tell them to do whatever makes them feel good.  I will tell them to lean on their spouse, family, and friends.  I will tell them to accept casseroles when they’re too tired to cook, and invitations to babysit when their just too damn tired.  To fold the clothes that same day, or next week, or whenever the hell you want.   Because at the end of the day this journey you’re on is all about protecting your new mama spirit, loving on that baby, and crushing this thing called life, 1000 percent.

Disclaimer: I know 1000 is not a percentage, I’m extra..lmao.


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