Thursday, July 2, 2015

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: ATTACK OF THE 3 FOOT MONSTER AKA THE TODDLER YEARS



Okay, so it goes without saying that I am in awe of my daughter.  She is bright, beautiful, and I'm most proud of the fact that she's funny as hell (ABC's? Nah, tell me a joke!) Like most toddlers she is finding her way and establishing herself as an individual in a world that is still fairly new to her.  It's a wonderful thing to see and I hope to live through it without pulling out all my hair.  Let me explain:
No matter what you hear about the toddler years YOU ARE NOT READY. My beautiful sweet little baby has turned into my boss.  The tantrums come fast and fierce and it takes a lot of deep breaths to parent such a "spirited" toddler (lol).

As parents we have come up with appropriate names for these stages, "The Terrible Twos", "Threenager", "Fournado", it's just how we cope.  You thought tantrums were bad? Wait until you have a toddler telling you "No I am not!”  aah the joy of full sentences.
A million thoughts run through my mind during one of these exchanges, I get it she's three, but maaaaaan she's emptying out mommy’s patience tank on a daily basis. So what do you do?  Well, since running away to Mexico until she's 18 is not an option (I checked) here are a few tips for surviving the toddler years with your edges intact:

Drink Wine and Meditate



After being with a toddler all day you need to drink.  If drinking is not your thing (insert hysterical mom laughter) then I HIGHLY recommend taking a few minutes to find your "OM".  You go from Mommy Hulk to Claire Huxtable in a matter of minutes. Chanting is optional though my favorite is "I am a good mom; I am a good mom...." Namaste.


Run away from home



Before you think I'm crazy I don't mean forever. Take a day for yourself, by yourself to do whatever you choose. It'll be fun and when you get back you'll miss your kids so much you won't mind that they smeared peanut butter all over you new couch. It was so new....


Form an all mom support group



I never feel better then when I talk to my mom friends. You've got a picky eater? Well they do too and you can hug, laugh, and cry together.  In the words of the great philosopher Dr. Dre they have "been there, done that" they have survived and you will too.  Find some moms, make friends; you’ll thank me for it.







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